When we were in classes for foster parenting we were told about a honeymoon period. We were warned that many times when children come into your home they will be very good. Some will even do things to please you (help wash dishes, help fold clothes, make their beds etc.) Then after that time there is a mourning period and a lot of acting out.
Joan asked us tonight if the boys have been testing us. When Brad said, "Oh, yes." She said good! Brad was about to tell her how mean she was and she explained that it probably means that we won't have a honeymoon period. She said that she didn't have a honeymoon period with them. So sounds like right out of the box we'll have our work cut out for us.
We had the boys today and had a lot of fun. Brad and I were a little worn out from the weekend but were very glad to see the boys. They both acted out quite a bit at first and we took them out to a different resturaunt than they've been to before and felt like maybe we bit off more than we could chew. After that we brought them home and played.
Sam loves the race track and Isaiah took to coloring while watching a movie. Sam was very tired and I think is young enough that he could and maybe should be taking a nap in the afternoons. We're really hoping to have the boys sooner than later because this is getting frustrating. I hope that we don't have to go thru this ebb and flow with their attitudes. We will meet there mom soon and Joan will be talking to Isaiah in the next couple of weeks about living with us. Please pray for these two events that they will go well. I know that the Lord will make these transitions what they should be and is already in the situation.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
2nd Saturday
(I took some adequate pictures and the camera disk pooped out on me- sorry)
We had a great time Saturday. I went shopping at Toys r Us Friday night and picked up some toys. My criteria, based on what the boys were attracted to Tuesday at the store whatever it was had to make noise. So 2 hours after wandering around the store I left with 4 pretty good choices.
Saturday we picked up the boys and brought them to our house. Sam was interested in Bowtie at first and petted him and laughed. It was wonderful. Isaiah was more interested in exploring and because Bowtie wasn't interested in entertaining the boys he wandered off and they forgot about him pretty quickly. We showed them the toys and the one I bought was a Tonka race track for little kids. It had 2 soft cars and when you press the button the track goes around, pretty fast, and it makes noises. The boys played with that most of the night. What a hit!
I also bought one leap pad book system and a word whammer by leap frog. They are both educational and will, hopefully, promote language growth, reading and spelling. We found out that the boys are typical in their limits to sharing. Sam got very upset and did not want to share with Isaiah on one of the books and as we were sitting on the floor he had an honest to goodness tantrum. It was exacerbated by the fact that he can't communicate his feelings. One of the things Sam does to compensate is he'll point to things that bother him. For instance he'll "hurt" his finger point to it for a kiss. Then he'll point to his head or arm or whatever for more kisses and attention. When he started his first tantrum for the evening he started crying crocodile tears and pointed to his eye as if to say 'see how upset I am, do you see that you're making me cry'. We rode it out and had he 3 tantrums of varying degrees all evening. Overall things went pretty smoothly.
Isaiah was very sweet to Sam. They wanted to watch Finding Nemo and Isaiah carried the race track into the living room for Sam so we could all watch the movie. It was too sweet and then once later in the evening Sam was upset (not at Isaiah this time) and Isaiah went over and hugged Sam to make him feel better.
Isaiah found a couple of balls in Bowties stuff and started rolling them and throwing them. I had him aim at the front door and he did that for 20 minutes or so and started to even work up a sweat. So they both like very typical boy things. I think I might try to find one of those nerf basketball hoops to hang on the back of the front door.
When it was time to leave all went well. But once we got to Joan's house things were a little chaotic and the boys seemed to not want us to leave. That was hard. It is also hard to believe that we just saw them yesterday. I can't wait to see them again. We meet this week with their case worker and then again with them on Tuesday. We're working every day towards getting ready for them. I'm getting paperwork together to get them enrolled in school, which is a challenge seeing that I don't even know their complete names but we'll get it all squared away.
Please pray for the transition. We think it will be especially hard on Isaiah as he feels pretty comfortable where he is now. We are looking forward to having them here full time so that we can work on the language thing and helping them with just being kids.
We had a great time Saturday. I went shopping at Toys r Us Friday night and picked up some toys. My criteria, based on what the boys were attracted to Tuesday at the store whatever it was had to make noise. So 2 hours after wandering around the store I left with 4 pretty good choices.
Saturday we picked up the boys and brought them to our house. Sam was interested in Bowtie at first and petted him and laughed. It was wonderful. Isaiah was more interested in exploring and because Bowtie wasn't interested in entertaining the boys he wandered off and they forgot about him pretty quickly. We showed them the toys and the one I bought was a Tonka race track for little kids. It had 2 soft cars and when you press the button the track goes around, pretty fast, and it makes noises. The boys played with that most of the night. What a hit!
I also bought one leap pad book system and a word whammer by leap frog. They are both educational and will, hopefully, promote language growth, reading and spelling. We found out that the boys are typical in their limits to sharing. Sam got very upset and did not want to share with Isaiah on one of the books and as we were sitting on the floor he had an honest to goodness tantrum. It was exacerbated by the fact that he can't communicate his feelings. One of the things Sam does to compensate is he'll point to things that bother him. For instance he'll "hurt" his finger point to it for a kiss. Then he'll point to his head or arm or whatever for more kisses and attention. When he started his first tantrum for the evening he started crying crocodile tears and pointed to his eye as if to say 'see how upset I am, do you see that you're making me cry'. We rode it out and had he 3 tantrums of varying degrees all evening. Overall things went pretty smoothly.
Isaiah was very sweet to Sam. They wanted to watch Finding Nemo and Isaiah carried the race track into the living room for Sam so we could all watch the movie. It was too sweet and then once later in the evening Sam was upset (not at Isaiah this time) and Isaiah went over and hugged Sam to make him feel better.
Isaiah found a couple of balls in Bowties stuff and started rolling them and throwing them. I had him aim at the front door and he did that for 20 minutes or so and started to even work up a sweat. So they both like very typical boy things. I think I might try to find one of those nerf basketball hoops to hang on the back of the front door.
When it was time to leave all went well. But once we got to Joan's house things were a little chaotic and the boys seemed to not want us to leave. That was hard. It is also hard to believe that we just saw them yesterday. I can't wait to see them again. We meet this week with their case worker and then again with them on Tuesday. We're working every day towards getting ready for them. I'm getting paperwork together to get them enrolled in school, which is a challenge seeing that I don't even know their complete names but we'll get it all squared away.
Please pray for the transition. We think it will be especially hard on Isaiah as he feels pretty comfortable where he is now. We are looking forward to having them here full time so that we can work on the language thing and helping them with just being kids.
Friday, November 9, 2007
Met the Boys Finally!
This week has been such a treat. Please forgive the limited pictures and weird placement of the pictures. It turns out the best picture of the bunch is the one Isaiah took of Sam raking leaves.
So here we are with the boys on Saturday.Right now they live across from a large savannah type area with a pond and lots of rocks to walk over. So on Saturday we went for a walk and threw rocks in the pond (it's a boy thing). Of course everyone wanted to have boulders to throw no small pebbles for this crew.
When we met the boys on Wens. they had just gotten home from school and met us and our 2 social workers. Isaiah had light up shoes on and loved to show everyone how they lit when he jumped on one foot then the other. He was such a bouncing ball of energy. Brad was sitting by the toy box and Sam pulled out every toy from the box and loved hearing Brad talk to him about them. Sam is very delayed emotionally and doesn't speak. He seems to have his own language and trys to communicate but there is a lot of work ahead.
Saturday when we visited the boys were outside with Joan playing on the swing. In the picture on the right Isaiah is trying to talk me into letting him take pictures. When I did let him take a few (the one on the left) I realized he has quite a talent!
The best part about Saturday was when we got there both boys seemed happy to see us and after Sam "said hello" to Brad he ran over to me and gave me a big hug. Before we left I asked Isaiah if he'd like to give me a hug goodbye (he did) and Sam started to cry as we walked away. Broke our hearts but we have to remind ourselves that it's just as much and age thing for Sammy as it is a connection thing.
We'll meet with the boys several more times before any move happens and by January they will be here full time. There is still sooooo much we don't know about their situation. We are planning to be a concurrent (long term) home for the boys. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that whatever happens in the long term someone will be heartbroken. At our last training meeting with Dawn we heard from a dad that adopted 2 boys thru the foster care system and he said that watching a birth mother have her parental rights terminated is the hardest thing to witness. She was broken and hurt. We haven't met, and don't know much about the boys mom, but I'm sure that having parental rights terminated at any point will be crushing.
On the other hand, if the county is able to find a relative, or parent to take the boys then we'll be heartbroken. As much as we believe that the boys should be with loving, caring, safe relatives if at all possible it would be tough to say goodbye. So we have to love, and care for them unconditionally while they are with us and give them childhood experiences that they remember. Knowing every step of the way that we may not be their forever home.
For now we look forward to the next meeting (Tuesday) and the next step in this new and exciting process.
Thanks for the prayers and hopefully I'll get some better pictures to share. For now though feel free to email me and tell me how cute they are. I know!! So Cute!!
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