Excitanxsiopated- is a word Brad and I have created to describe the waiting process. We've combined excited, anxious, anticipating, frustrated all together because there was no one word that said it all.
It truly is a process to wait. Your emotions go thru so much. We actually had talked at the end of our last meeting with the consultant about 2 children that may need placement. But we have to wait to get more information, see a picture, and possibly meet them. So we've been waiting (me not so patiently) to get any more information.
It's been a week and I finally got a call from Jessie, our consultant in training, with 5 different dates that work for them so we can all go and meet with the current foster mother and even meet the kids. The dates ranged from Friday (in two days) to Friday in two weeks. Jessie called the foster mother and the best date that works for her? of course next Wens. Everything is happening in one week increments, which at least it's not 2 weeks but arghhhhh!! (Excitanxsiopated -can't describe it any better.)
There is supposed to be a file that we can look at but no one can locate it. They are redoing it as I type this and will let me know when it's available to view. I'm trying to convince myself that next week is fine and there is plenty to keep me busy between now and then. We know very little about the kids and what we do know just leads to more excitanxsiopation so I won't even bother adding that tiny info here. What we do know about the kids is that we'll want to find at least some connection on Wens. or we will ask to move on to the next kids needing placement. So in the interest of not dashing hopes and sparing everyone else into going into excitanxsionpating arrest, I'll just ask that you pray for us between now and next Wens. that the Lord would give us clarity and wisdom. Also, please pray that I don't get fatally attacked by the excitanxsiopated monster.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Worst words-It Depends
It depends-is the answer to about every question we can possibly have. Will we get a call soon, will he be in 3rd grade, will he need driven to school, will we have to work with both birth parents, will he have a brother- the answer we get- "it depends".
So at that we go forward with what we do know. The individual meetings were a lot easier than we expected. They each lasted about 2 hours and then tonight we had our last official worksheet meeting. We each filled out a worksheet and then took turns to go over the information with Chris separately without the other person in the room.
We may need to meet with her one more time but the house is ready. She'll work on our report this week and we'll get a call next week and most likely be officially licensed by November 2nd. Which means that we'll be available for calls very soon.
At the last meeting I had alone with Chris she and I decided to extend our age groups to include 0-12. Brad was a little surprised but we talked about it and he agreed that as long as we could find child care that it shouldn't be a problem. Chris reminded me that day care can be very good for these kids because the children can socialize and have lots of structure which can in turn help them grow into themselves better.
At the end of this evenings meeting Chris asked Brad and I again if we'd be ok with 2 kids at a time. We said yes and she said she would look for a good fit for us. We decided that any addition would be such a change to what we have now that 2 kids wouldn't be exponentially that much more different. We are expecting that our 1st few placements will be short term (how long? It depends). Chris did intimate that she has been looking for good fits and we may get a call soon.
If we get an emergency call (and it depends on the situation) than we have the opportunity to turn down the placement. If we take the placement the child could be with in as soon as an hour. If we take a placement with children that are already in the system then we can ease into it a little. Possibly visit with them at their current foster home and spend time with them and then take them for little excursions before they spend the night with us. It sounds like a great way to ease into things but at some point we just need to jump in with both feet.
We've been looking at activities that school age kids would enjoy and are ready to get things under way. It just seems like all there is left to do is wait.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement and we look forward to telling you more. Hopefully soon but you know......it depends.
So at that we go forward with what we do know. The individual meetings were a lot easier than we expected. They each lasted about 2 hours and then tonight we had our last official worksheet meeting. We each filled out a worksheet and then took turns to go over the information with Chris separately without the other person in the room.
We may need to meet with her one more time but the house is ready. She'll work on our report this week and we'll get a call next week and most likely be officially licensed by November 2nd. Which means that we'll be available for calls very soon.
At the last meeting I had alone with Chris she and I decided to extend our age groups to include 0-12. Brad was a little surprised but we talked about it and he agreed that as long as we could find child care that it shouldn't be a problem. Chris reminded me that day care can be very good for these kids because the children can socialize and have lots of structure which can in turn help them grow into themselves better.
At the end of this evenings meeting Chris asked Brad and I again if we'd be ok with 2 kids at a time. We said yes and she said she would look for a good fit for us. We decided that any addition would be such a change to what we have now that 2 kids wouldn't be exponentially that much more different. We are expecting that our 1st few placements will be short term (how long? It depends). Chris did intimate that she has been looking for good fits and we may get a call soon.
If we get an emergency call (and it depends on the situation) than we have the opportunity to turn down the placement. If we take the placement the child could be with in as soon as an hour. If we take a placement with children that are already in the system then we can ease into it a little. Possibly visit with them at their current foster home and spend time with them and then take them for little excursions before they spend the night with us. It sounds like a great way to ease into things but at some point we just need to jump in with both feet.
We've been looking at activities that school age kids would enjoy and are ready to get things under way. It just seems like all there is left to do is wait.
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement and we look forward to telling you more. Hopefully soon but you know......it depends.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
One more meeting left
We attended the 3rd of 4 meetings last night. The meetings are eye opening and yet leave a sense of what will our situation look like. The main feeling we get is every situation is different, how you can create a class for 14 people and talk about any type of focus when everything is different depending on the child, the placement and the birth family- well it's a challenge. Our instructor is very open and honest and does her best.
Last night we talked about discipline, teams of people that are involved in each childs lives, and some great options available to older (15+) children in the system, including college assistance. When we met with our foster consultant yesterdaybefore the class I was left a little disappointed. I knew it was a home inspection, I guess when you throw in a word like inspection I'm prepared for something very thorough. Instead it felt more like a "we just wanted to make sure you live indoors" type of thing. So, of course, I stayed up LATE Tuesday night preparing the apartment and then was left deflated when the only comments we got were just simple make sure you lock up medicines, and have working smoke detectors. Maybe we looked so ready that there wasn't much left to say.
Our FPC (foster parent consultant) did ask a few questions and it was more just a get to know you type of thing. They are saying it could be 6-8 more weeks before we have a placement. She was happy to hear that we were indeed interested in a school age boy (which there are many in the system) and she asked how many. We looked at each other and said two, well you could have knocked me over with a feather when we said that. As the words are coming out of my mouth I'm trying to fathom 2 boys- YIKES! BOYS- I mean, what do they like, where do the like to go for fun, what is the Barbie equivalent for boys? Lots to learn.
Chris our FPC is really interested in a good fit. For the boys she works with she is really looking for forever homes, these kids have usually been in the system for awhile and parents rights will most likely be terminated (by force or voluntarily). So we meet for our individual meetings next week and then have maybe one more look at the home, if neccesary. A placement could happen faster if she finds a good fit. For now we wait and finish our last class next week.
As far as the bedroom is concerned we need to hang the curtains and take down the breakables and anchor the book case. Chris encouraged us to wait to purchase additional decorations, etc till we have a placement so that we can include him in the decisions. Makes sense, and was actually what we were thinking too. We may need to buy a bunk bed if we get two kids. Mostly though we need to go thru the last of the boxes in our bedroom, switch out clothes to winter clothes and store the rest then the apartment is basically ready.
So what do you think about that? Possibly 2 boys and she was curious if we were planning on staying in the apartment much longer. Who knows, maybe she already has some children in mind and maybe it's a larger group of siblings that are in need of us. We just keep the faith and know that the Lord is in this situation.
Last night we talked about discipline, teams of people that are involved in each childs lives, and some great options available to older (15+) children in the system, including college assistance. When we met with our foster consultant yesterdaybefore the class I was left a little disappointed. I knew it was a home inspection, I guess when you throw in a word like inspection I'm prepared for something very thorough. Instead it felt more like a "we just wanted to make sure you live indoors" type of thing. So, of course, I stayed up LATE Tuesday night preparing the apartment and then was left deflated when the only comments we got were just simple make sure you lock up medicines, and have working smoke detectors. Maybe we looked so ready that there wasn't much left to say.
Our FPC (foster parent consultant) did ask a few questions and it was more just a get to know you type of thing. They are saying it could be 6-8 more weeks before we have a placement. She was happy to hear that we were indeed interested in a school age boy (which there are many in the system) and she asked how many. We looked at each other and said two, well you could have knocked me over with a feather when we said that. As the words are coming out of my mouth I'm trying to fathom 2 boys- YIKES! BOYS- I mean, what do they like, where do the like to go for fun, what is the Barbie equivalent for boys? Lots to learn.
Chris our FPC is really interested in a good fit. For the boys she works with she is really looking for forever homes, these kids have usually been in the system for awhile and parents rights will most likely be terminated (by force or voluntarily). So we meet for our individual meetings next week and then have maybe one more look at the home, if neccesary. A placement could happen faster if she finds a good fit. For now we wait and finish our last class next week.
As far as the bedroom is concerned we need to hang the curtains and take down the breakables and anchor the book case. Chris encouraged us to wait to purchase additional decorations, etc till we have a placement so that we can include him in the decisions. Makes sense, and was actually what we were thinking too. We may need to buy a bunk bed if we get two kids. Mostly though we need to go thru the last of the boxes in our bedroom, switch out clothes to winter clothes and store the rest then the apartment is basically ready.
So what do you think about that? Possibly 2 boys and she was curious if we were planning on staying in the apartment much longer. Who knows, maybe she already has some children in mind and maybe it's a larger group of siblings that are in need of us. We just keep the faith and know that the Lord is in this situation.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Met with Licensing Consultant at our home
Today we met with a social worker today in our home to do the inspection of our appt. in preparation for becoming licensed foster parents.
The visit lasted about an hour and was a look around with some suggestions about keeping a fire extinguisher handy around the kitchen. Keeping all medications, including vitamins actually locked up (something we had not thought about).
She did not ask us a lot of questions this time. We each have individual appts set up with her next week. That is where the intimate questions about every part of our lives will be asked. They want to get find out as much about us as they can...then a report about our lives/personality will be generated for our file. They really are comitted to finding the right "fit" for our home. To get a child that will easily fit into our home and lifestyle and also that we as parents will have an easy transition.
They are commited to being a resource to answer our questions and provide assistence if needed. -Brad
The visit lasted about an hour and was a look around with some suggestions about keeping a fire extinguisher handy around the kitchen. Keeping all medications, including vitamins actually locked up (something we had not thought about).
She did not ask us a lot of questions this time. We each have individual appts set up with her next week. That is where the intimate questions about every part of our lives will be asked. They want to get find out as much about us as they can...then a report about our lives/personality will be generated for our file. They really are comitted to finding the right "fit" for our home. To get a child that will easily fit into our home and lifestyle and also that we as parents will have an easy transition.
They are commited to being a resource to answer our questions and provide assistence if needed. -Brad
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
"Read-ing" up the house
Brad has a word that we love to use from time to time. The word is read (as in a I read a book yesterday) however, in this case it means to prepare. So we are read-ing up the apartment for our 1st visit with our foster care consultant. She will be doing a general inspection of the place to see what we need to do in preparation for a child.
We have been working this last weekend and Brad last week, to empty the office to make it a livable second bedroom. I sit right now and write to you from the computer that is now in the living room. Brad had a great idea to put a sofa table behind the couch where the computer is to function as a work space and to put files and things under. I agreed that this was a good idea and set out yesterday to find an affordable option. No option presented itself but I did have an idea to create something out of the two small bookcases that we already had. So we have a space behind the couch that is more and more turning into a workable arrangement.
The second bedroom is looking more promising but I have my work cut out for me tonight. Our hope is that Kris will come tomorrow and be impressed with how ready we are physically for a child. Of course that is the people pleasers in us wanting to impress and I'm sure that she will have a handful (or more) things that we will still need to be do in preparation.
Brad and I had a long conversation Sunday about the whole idea. We are very excited but realize that a child will change our lives more than we imagine. And that a foster child will change our lives even more than that.
So Wednesday at 3pm we will be meeting in our home for over an hour and fill out more paperwork, answer more questions and have everything inspected. Here's hoping that all goes well, and we know that the Lord is in this already so we can go forward with confidance.
ps. Brad does have his interview today and is feeling like he may recover from his sinus infection. Lots of excitement here. We'll keep you posted.
We have been working this last weekend and Brad last week, to empty the office to make it a livable second bedroom. I sit right now and write to you from the computer that is now in the living room. Brad had a great idea to put a sofa table behind the couch where the computer is to function as a work space and to put files and things under. I agreed that this was a good idea and set out yesterday to find an affordable option. No option presented itself but I did have an idea to create something out of the two small bookcases that we already had. So we have a space behind the couch that is more and more turning into a workable arrangement.
The second bedroom is looking more promising but I have my work cut out for me tonight. Our hope is that Kris will come tomorrow and be impressed with how ready we are physically for a child. Of course that is the people pleasers in us wanting to impress and I'm sure that she will have a handful (or more) things that we will still need to be do in preparation.
Brad and I had a long conversation Sunday about the whole idea. We are very excited but realize that a child will change our lives more than we imagine. And that a foster child will change our lives even more than that.
So Wednesday at 3pm we will be meeting in our home for over an hour and fill out more paperwork, answer more questions and have everything inspected. Here's hoping that all goes well, and we know that the Lord is in this already so we can go forward with confidance.
ps. Brad does have his interview today and is feeling like he may recover from his sinus infection. Lots of excitement here. We'll keep you posted.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
2nd Class
Last night we had our second foster parenting class. It was very informative. We are in a small class, one couple already has a foster child, one lady has done foster parenting before but it has been awhile so the feedback in the room is very good.
We got all of our "homework" mailed in last week and now have a Foster Care Consultant assigned to us. The next step is a phone call to set up a home visit. Then more paperwork. We are very excited and Brad is ready to have everything in the apartment ready for a child so this weekend will be busy with storage and moving furniture around.
I started this blog as a way to keep everyone posted. If you have questions or comments please feel free to let us know. As we go along there will be things about specific situations we won't be able to share but I know that the joys and frustrations will be full of there own bits of "safe" information. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.
ps. I'm still figuring out how to use this blog so bear with me.
We got all of our "homework" mailed in last week and now have a Foster Care Consultant assigned to us. The next step is a phone call to set up a home visit. Then more paperwork. We are very excited and Brad is ready to have everything in the apartment ready for a child so this weekend will be busy with storage and moving furniture around.
I started this blog as a way to keep everyone posted. If you have questions or comments please feel free to let us know. As we go along there will be things about specific situations we won't be able to share but I know that the joys and frustrations will be full of there own bits of "safe" information. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.
ps. I'm still figuring out how to use this blog so bear with me.
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