Pictures to Share

Here are some pictures that Isaiah and I took. He took the picture of Sam, which I thought was a neat picture. If I could harness the energy into the lens I think he'd take some awesome pictures.





Here is Isaiah with his new camera, notice the "boots" he's wearing.






I couldn't resist taking a picture of the boys in there "santa boots".





Isaiah and I during a brief moment of enjoyment.





Brad took the boys last weekend to a fun event at the Overture center. On Saturday's during the winter they offer free family friendly entertainment.

Hope you are enjoying the posts. Stay in touch.

Check Your Emotional Baggage Please

We had a breakthrough last night with Isaiah. From the time Kodi picked him up from his after school program through dinner and afterwards when we were watching TV, Isaiah had been on the verge of a timeout for several reasons. He wasn't doing anything terrible...he just wasn't doing anything well, either. He has the attention span of a dragonfly on fire at times. When he ramps up into this type of mode he just doesn't stand still and even it he pauses for a moment his hands are usually in mid air ready for the next thing and they are even trembling with energy, as if he is trying to decide which direction he should reign down his terror next.

Finally, I had had enough and recapped all the crazy behaviors he had shown that night and that I thought he needed a one minute time out so he could calm down. He at first was, of course, not too excited about taking a timeout for any length of time. But I said it had to happen and he then followed me back to the rocking chair in their bedroom. He sat down just fine and I went to the kitchen to get the timer. When I went back into the bedroom to check on him, he was sitting where I had left him but could tell by the look on his face that he was not really happy. I asked if he was okay...he said no and burst into tears. I knelt down beside his chair, put my arm around him and asked if he was mad at Brad and Kodi. He said no. I asked if he was sad...he said yes, he was. When I asked what he was sad about he said, "his mom". At that point I held him close and said it was okay to be sad about missing mom. I reassured him that his mom loves him and also misses him. I held him for a moment more and told him that anytime he needs to talk to Brad and Kodi about being sad or missing mom that he can always do so.

It makes sense that the "acting up" is his way of not knowing how to deal with what he is feeling. Kodi and I are trying to help him identify the emotions he has and assist him with how to deal with them. We are asking the social workers for a referral for family counseling to help the boys with their transition and for Kodi and I to better know how to deal with the chaos we have at the moment. I have always felt in my heart that Kodi and I would be okay parents, and indeed with the day to day general care we are doing fine. I think we both were hoping for a cozy and more or less peaceful home where two happy boys would be sharing their toys back and forth while our cat snoozes peacefully on the chair by the fireplace while Kodi and I sit and enjoy reading our books while listening to smooth jazz melodies in the background. Okay, okay...I know I'm a dreamer and that we don't even have a fireplace. Life may not always be exactly what we wish it could be. At this point Kodi and I are just hoping to catch our breath for a moment. We know this transition is going to take some time, but we are also trying to be proactive to make changes and improvements as soon as we can so we can move forward rather than just spinning our wheels.

Thanks to all for your love and support.
-Brad

Peas should be square!

I have decided that if the vegetable growers of America want more families to eat veggies than peas should be square and corn niblets should be the size of an average fork. I came to this realization as I was under the table the other night after dinner. As I was ridding the carpet of as many veggies that I could, I thought of the old adage "motherhood is a thankless job". If that is true than foster motherhood is where thankless daughters must suffer under the table. If I haven't said it recently- thanks mom!

We have had a pretty rocky 1st couple of weeks. This week all school schedules are ironed out and hopefully next week all bus schedules will be up and running. I waited to sign Isaiah up for the bus so he could get his footing a little with the new school. Next week I'm hoping to have him on the bus in the morning with Sam and then they'll ride the bus to Isaiah's school and then Sam will stay on the bus to go to his own school.

I met with Isaiah's teacher yesterday and would you believe it she's originally from Ft. Wayne! The Lord's hand is more evident in Isaiah being in her class but that is a discussion for another blog. She is a strong woman with lots of resolve to help Isaiah overcome his anger and acting out and get him the knowledge he so desperately needs. She is having the same issues at school that we are having at home with the testing and she really gives us a lot of credit for signing up for this task.

Sam is having problems going to preschool, I think that will change eventually but for now when I have to drop him off I have to be sure to allow extra time. Last Thursday I dropped him off and had to drag him out of the car, wrap my arms around him and heave him to the curb. I sat him down to change my hold and he ran away from me into the street toward the car! I was panicked and stopped (thanks mom) and didn't chase after him. Being that the car was parked on a very quiet street and he wasn't in traffic I tried to coax him back to the sidewalk as I walked quickly towards him and grabbed him with all my might and got him back to the sidewalk kicking and screaming. Luckily one of his teachers saw us, or perhaps heard us, and was able to come out and pick him up from me and take him in. I was an emotional mess and the preschool director came down to me and gave me a hug and said, "it's ok mom, sometimes they do that, you're doing good." Well, I don't have to tell you I pretty much lost it and after gaining composure I thanked her and then headed to work. Whew, not my day, after about an hour I got a call at work from the preschool, "Sam is doing great and we just wanted to let you know." That dirty rotten turkey, here I had worried myself that we were making a bad decision and he was perfectly fine. Well, just goes to show that you have to have the resolve and the backbone to follow thru (thanks mom).

We are seeing glimpses of success but they are few and far between at the moment. Sam has added one word to his vocabulary this week -apple! I heard him and had him repeat it for Brad and we both were bursting with pride. Of course Sam kind of gave us a look like, 'you guys know what it's called what's the big deal?' Regardless, we are happy that he is making a least a small step forward. I'm sure the Isaiah will make even more progress as he gets settled in to the routine and we work with some extra help to give him language to explain his feelings instead of pounding on the table when he has to take a time out.

Please keep us in your prayers and if I've neglected to tell you this, Happy Birthday x 4 people, Happy Anniversary x2 people and we love you and miss you everyone!