Wednesday, August 19, 2009

It takes a village



You may not know the whole story of how Maddi came to live with us. I would like to take a moment to try to share the story of the last 9+ months and hope that you are encouraged by the works that the Lord is still doing today. In December of 2007 we took in two boys as our very 1st foster children. They have been a joy and a challenge to us and we were just hitting our stride as a family when we moved into a condo in July. A short month later we were informed that the boys mother was expecting but that we wouldn’t need to consider taking in a third child because the county intended on having services in place to help the boys mother take the baby home. It was with mixed emotions that I heard this news. The prospect of a baby was exciting but realistically the boys needed all the attention we could afford to give them.

Three months later Maddi was born and that same day we received a phone call explaining that the baby needed placed in emergency care until things could be sorted out. Because it was a Thursday they needed to know by Friday whether or not we’d be willing to take in the baby. At 1st blush the answer seemed obvious but I was not willing to depart from Brad regarding the decision, as always we were going to make a decision together and that would be our answer. If we said no then the baby would go to another foster home that had signed up for and was equipped for a newborn. The initial answer was to be for a short term, 3 day placement. This meant that even if we took the baby she might go back to her mother’s as early as Tuesday the following week. If she stayed longer that would mean I’d have to take off work, our 1st Christmas as a family would be slim and we would have to buy all sorts of supplies with limited income but mostly it would make Sam a middle child and divide our attention even more from the 2 children we had signed up to care for in the first place.

So Brad and I talked about it for hours and agreed to take in the baby. That Friday we talked to the caseworker several times and twice the baby was not going to be placed with us. I had to make an impassioned plea to let us have the chance of 3 days and then let’s move forward or not. I made a phone call to a friend and on Friday our family of 4 hopped into Brad’s car and drove an hour to meet with friends to pick up just the basics- a bassinet and a car seat. She was able to scrape together some other items and even surprised us with an outfit. Because of the late hour this would be the very first outfit Maddi would wear and came to our home in. What a blessing to have friends give so generously, they offered many other helps also. At the time we took only what was required for a weekend stay.

The next day our family of 4 went to the hospital and picked the baby up. It was a very surreal moment as we were given instructions of how to care for this new little person. The nurse at the hospital learned of our situation, grabbed everything she could think we would need over the weekend, and sent us home with formula enough for days and other items that proved very helpful. As we left the hospital amid other women’s flowers and well wishers we quickly got the baby into my car and she and I left with the boys getting in Brad’s car. We got her home and I ran to the store to pick up a couple more outfits and had my 1st moments of new mom shopping.

Tuesday came and went and we learned that the baby would be with us longer. The entire 1st two months of her life I kept notes of feedings and diapering because we never knew if this would be the last day for her to be with us. Our church organized food for a week, the week of Thanksgiving, so we only had to plan for the big meal on Thanksgiving, thanks to church members we had all the food and staples we would need for the rest of the week. I went to work and talked to HR and was told that I could qualify for some time off and would be able to be compensated for it. What a terrific relief I could be home with the baby and we wouldn’t have to have a Very Charlie Brown Christmas.

Once people heard of our situation we were inundated with offers. Current teachers and former teachers from Sam’s preschool brought in items from their own homes to share with the baby. One teacher suspiciously brought in a giant gift bag of diapers that her son (only days older than Maddi) had already outgrown. Brad’s co-workers brought in clothes and we had enough clothes and diapers to last almost till Christmas. I received a phone number of a parent at the preschool and she offered a pack n play, baby carriers and asked what else we might need. I told her that we didn’t have a current car seat and did she know of anyone we could borrow one from. She said she’d check around and called back that she had one that we could have. When she brought it to the preschool we realized that it fit the base that we had borrowed from our friends so we automatically had two bases, one for each car. In the mean time my mother in law was talking to coworkers and they sent gifts. My mother in law mentioned that we were going to need a car seat cover and wouldn’t you know it without any additional information we received a couple of beautiful hand made afghans and a car seat cover that matched the color and style of the seat we were using. We hadn’t even had time to tell mom what we had let alone what we needed.

When Maddi got close to the 3 month mark yet another onslaught of diapers from that same fast growing baby 4 weeks Maddi’s senior and more clothes from more people that heard about our story.

I had really wanted to get Maddi a brand new piece of furniture, or pack and play or swing or something. But every time I looked for something someone offered an item that fit the bill. My sister in law even said she had a great pack and play, swing and travel booster seat. Since they were moving to Albania they wouldn’t need the items. We happily accepted the items and were grateful for such nice things.

Brad’s coworkers collected money and gave us a very generous gift card that we were able to use towards a dresser and changing table. Someone offered a Jenny Lind style crib and changing table, before I was even able to see it to decide if we would like it someone gave us a crib. Brad’s coworker and her husband were at an auction and knew of our situation and felt led to bid on a crib. We were thrilled when she asked Brad if we still needed a crib, ‘yes’ and she said great she’d bring it in the next day. When Brad got the crib and mattress home he put it together and it worked so great for our little one. One of Brad’s co-workers mom’s even ‘adopted’ Maddi as her ‘angel tree baby’ for Christmas and gave us many wonderful gifts.

Over and over we’ve been blessed by people that learn of our situation and just happen to have the perfect item for our needs. We never had the chance or need to register for any items and we never had a baby shower but we were showered over and over with people’s generosity. We may not have the dream nursery that many new mom’s plan for months for but we have a very happy, healthy and blessed baby and isn’t that the most important part.

So as you reflect on our world of uncertainty please remember that the Lord provides you with what you need and sometimes even what you want, you just have to let go and have faith that you may not understand what is happening but He will get you thru.

At this writing we are currently working with caseworkers to figure things out. Our case is not done and may continue for years, sometimes they do but we will continue to take care of these children that the Lord has entrusted us with for as long as we can and know that He holds our future.

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