Brad and Kodi -Kids Spot

Maddi is 18 months today

2010-05-13T10:23:00.003-05:00

18 Months has gone by so quickly. And yet some days last forever (can I get a tired amen from toddler moms out there). The boys are growing so quickly, I think Isaiah will be as tall as me by the time he starts 3rd grade in the fall.

Maddi is very vocal in her moments of frustration. She's a screamer and not a floor dropping type of fit thrower. We are currently having her room remodeled so she has a door, closet and privacy. It will be nice when her crib is out of our room as I don't think about how noisy a sleeping kid can be. She had her checkup yesterday and the doctor says she looks great!

Isaiah is trying really hard at school and is thrilled that the weather has changed and he can get out on his bike. His gymnastics skills continue to improve and they are learning how to do back flips right now. He doesn't realize how close he is to doing it because he can't see himself.

Sam is ready for summer and still loves Thomas and other modes of transportation. They've been talking about rockets and outerspace at school and that really has his imagination going. He loves to hear Brad and I make of stories at bedtime. I've cheated a couple of times and told him bible stories because at that time of night my brain has about shut down.

We're looking forward to our vacation in June, the kids don't know but we're going to see Thomas in Greenbay then we're going to Holiday World. So lots of exciting fun!

It takes a village

2009-08-19T14:21:00.001-05:00

You may not know the whole story of how Maddi came to live with us. I would like to take a moment to try to share the story of the last 9+ months and hope that you are encouraged by the works that the Lord is still doing today. In December of 2007 we took in two boys as our very 1st foster children. They have been a joy and a challenge to us and we were just hitting our stride as a family when we moved into a condo in July. A short month later we were informed that the boys mother was expecting but that we wouldn’t need to consider taking in a third child because the county intended on having services in place to help the boys mother take the baby home. It was with mixed emotions that I heard this news. The prospect of a baby was exciting but realistically the boys needed all the attention we could afford to give them.

Three months later Maddi was born and that same day we received a phone call explaining that the baby needed placed in emergency care until things could be sorted out. Because it was a Thursday they needed to know by Friday whether or not we’d be willing to take in the baby. At 1st blush the answer seemed obvious but I was not willing to depart from Brad regarding the decision, as always we were going to make a decision together and that would be our answer. If we said no then the baby would go to another foster home that had signed up for and was equipped for a newborn. The initial answer was to be for a short term, 3 day placement. This meant that even if we took the baby she might go back to her mother’s as early as Tuesday the following week. If she stayed longer that would mean I’d have to take off work, our 1st Christmas as a family would be slim and we would have to buy all sorts of supplies with limited income but mostly it would make Sam a middle child and divide our attention even more from the 2 children we had signed up to care for in the first place.

So Brad and I talked about it for hours and agreed to take in the baby. That Friday we talked to the caseworker several times and twice the baby was not going to be placed with us. I had to make an impassioned plea to let us have the chance of 3 days and then let’s move forward or not. I made a phone call to a friend and on Friday our family of 4 hopped into Brad’s car and drove an hour to meet with friends to pick up just the basics- a bassinet and a car seat. She was able to scrape together some other items and even surprised us with an outfit. Because of the late hour this would be the very first outfit Maddi would wear and came to our home in. What a blessing to have friends give so generously, they offered many other helps also. At the time we took only what was required for a weekend stay.

The next day our family of 4 went to the hospital and picked the baby up. It was a very surreal moment as we were given instructions of how to care for this new little person. The nurse at the hospital learned of our situation, grabbed everything she could think we would need over the weekend, and sent us home with formula enough for days and other items that proved very helpful. As we left the hospital amid other women’s flowers and well wishers we quickly got the baby into my car and she and I left with the boys getting in Brad’s car. We got her home and I ran to the store to pick up a couple more outfits and had my 1st moments of new mom shopping.

Tuesday came and went and we learned that the baby would be with us longer. The entire 1st two months of her life I kept notes of feedings and diapering because we never knew if this would be the last day for her to be with us. Our church organized food for a week, the week of Thanksgiving, so we only had to plan for the big meal on Thanksgiving, thanks to church members we had all the food and staples we would need for the rest of the week. I went to work and talked to HR and was told that I could qualify for some time off and would be able to be compensated for it. What a terrific relief I could be home with the baby and we wouldn’t have to have a Very Charlie Brown Christmas.

Once people heard of our situation we were inundated with offers. Current teachers and former teachers from Sam’s preschool brought in items from their own homes to share with the baby. One teacher suspiciously brought in a giant gift bag of diapers that her son (only days older than Maddi) had already outgrown. Brad’s co-workers brought in clothes and we had enough clothes and diapers to last almost till Christmas. I received a phone number of a parent at the preschool and she offered a pack n play, baby carriers and asked what else we might need. I told her that we didn’t have a current car seat and did she know of anyone we could borrow one from. She said she’d check around and called back that she had one that we could have. When she brought it to the preschool we realized that it fit the base that we had borrowed from our friends so we automatically had two bases, one for each car. In the mean time my mother in law was talking to coworkers and they sent gifts. My mother in law mentioned that we were going to need a car seat cover and wouldn’t you know it without any additional information we received a couple of beautiful hand made afghans and a car seat cover that matched the color and style of the seat we were using. We hadn’t even had time to tell mom what we had let alone what we needed.

When Maddi got close to the 3 month mark yet another onslaught of diapers from that same fast growing baby 4 weeks Maddi’s senior and more clothes from more people that heard about our story.

I had really wanted to get Maddi a brand new piece of furniture, or pack and play or swing or something. But every time I looked for something someone offered an item that fit the bill. My sister in law even said she had a great pack and play, swing and travel booster seat. Since they were moving to Albania they wouldn’t need the items. We happily accepted the items and were grateful for such nice things.

Brad’s coworkers collected money and gave us a very generous gift card that we were able to use towards a dresser and changing table. Someone offered a Jenny Lind style crib and changing table, before I was even able to see it to decide if we would like it someone gave us a crib. Brad’s coworker and her husband were at an auction and knew of our situation and felt led to bid on a crib. We were thrilled when she asked Brad if we still needed a crib, ‘yes’ and she said great she’d bring it in the next day. When Brad got the crib and mattress home he put it together and it worked so great for our little one. One of Brad’s co-workers mom’s even ‘adopted’ Maddi as her ‘angel tree baby’ for Christmas and gave us many wonderful gifts.

Over and over we’ve been blessed by people that learn of our situation and just happen to have the perfect item for our needs. We never had the chance or need to register for any items and we never had a baby shower but we were showered over and over with people’s generosity. We may not have the dream nursery that many new mom’s plan for months for but we have a very happy, healthy and blessed baby and isn’t that the most important part.

So as you reflect on our world of uncertainty please remember that the Lord provides you with what you need and sometimes even what you want, you just have to let go and have faith that you may not understand what is happening but He will get you thru.

At this writing we are currently working with caseworkers to figure things out. Our case is not done and may continue for years, sometimes they do but we will continue to take care of these children that the Lord has entrusted us with for as long as we can and know that He holds our future.

Update on prayer request

2009-04-29T12:30:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers last week. It is very reassuring to know that we are being surrounded in prayer.

Many of you have asked how things are going and I wanted to touch base with what we know so far. The meeting with the case workers and the kids mom did not go well. She found out that the observations were not favorable for reunifying the kids with her. She still doesn't understand why the kids are in substitute (foster) care and she was surprised that the kids aren't getting returned to her anytime soon.

I met with the other caseworkers last night and they let me know that they are going to pursue filling for terminating parental rights on one of the boys and the other will most likely happen soon also. Most times in a case like this they would try to do both boys together however, with the length of time that they've been out of the home the case workers are thinking that perhaps this would be more advantageous to at least get one permanency plan going. This all sounds terrific, but keep in mind that even though it sounds quick it is a very long process and by no means a "slam dunk". It falls on the caseworker to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the child is not safe returning to his mother.

What this means for us is that we make ourselves available for visitations up until a judge makes the final decision. In our case it is difficult to be too encouraged because the caseworkers have a very hard road ahead due to mental delays on the behalf of the mother and challenges from the birth father. So the birth parents lawyers will most likely bring out every claim they can find.

As far as the baby goes she is still a completely separate case. She hasn't even been officially added to any substitute paperwork beyond the initial concerns. Next Monday the caseworker and the parents lawyers meet with the judge for a pretrial to determine where the case goes from here. It does sound like the caseworker will push for the term adoption to be added to the long term recommendation if reunification can't happen. This really doesn't change much on our end -basically it's just semantics on the paperwork.

So, the meeting happened with the outcome we expected. We ask that you continue to pray. This process is very difficult for the family. We are trying to keep this all from the boys so that they aren't too upset about the unknowns. We are focusing on finishing the school year, getting kindergarten paperwork started, summer gymnastics signed up for and 6 month checkups held.

For now we count down to Day out with Thomas -5 weeks away and August birthday -4 months away. Brad and I are looking forward to summer vacations, having fun just as a family of 5 in our new van and making memories and getting a couple of pictures of it all.

Blessings,
The Mortons

End of Year letter

2009-01-09T11:42:00.003-06:00

2008 is done and gone, but we can't help but look back on it with a sense of ....well....Holy Cow what a year. I guess that about sums it up. We added 2 kids, moved, and then added a newborn, so we've had lots going on. The boys have been with us for just over a year and school has started back up. Isaiah is doing well in 1st grade and we're debating about Sam's readiness for Kindergarten next fall or rather Kindergarten's readiness for Sam next fall.

All issues are still going forward, we've not had any changes as far as what affects the boys life with the small exception of a little gift that came to us in November. Their little sister is with us now. We were told originally that the baby -affectionately known as Maddie, would not need placement but things happened and they needed placement for her right away. Brad and I struggled with the idea and after much back and forth decided that if the boys could handle the change that we would figure out how to handle the new addition.

So we went as a family on November 15th and picked her up at the hospital. The boys have been terrific and very loving towards her and we're happy with our decision, even though it wasn't an easy one to make in less than 12 hours. I took off work for 5 weeks and now Brad is off work for 3 weeks caring for Maddie. I've never missed sleep so much in my life, it's amazing what the lack of sleep does to a person. There were a couple of nights I had to wake Brad up to help me because I just couldn't go on. Don't misunderstand me, Maddie is the best baby ever, she's not fussy, or cholicy, she's not demanding, she's very content and growing into a happy babbler. But those 1st few weeks were such an adjustment when no preparation was made. We truly had no idea- good thing God knew. (he's a better planner than me anyway) We were borrowing baby items, people that knew our situation were offering items and we can't tell you how many times something would come available at the perfect time. God has been in this decision from the 1st and we're so blessed as a family.

The cat won't ever recover from this last year, poor thing. The boys tend to treat him more like a dog than an 8 year old cat but he's pretty good at finding places to hide. Sam's language continues to develop and we've got some specialists looking at his situation for a new perspective. For my birthday I asked for a bunch of books, the list was put together before the middle of November. Everyone was so generous and I received almost all the books I asked for, now I just need to figure out how to read them this year.

My personal new years resolution is to have a really boring '09. I don't know what the future holds but I do trust Who holds the future.

From our Family to yours may 2009 hold Blessings and Joy beyond measure.

Brad, Kodi, Isaiah, Sam and baby Maddie

Name Surreal

2008-10-06T12:09:00.003-05:00

So far the fall has been good to us at the Morton house. We went to the pumpkin patch a week ago and everyone picked pumpkins. The boys determined the bigger the better. Since this was their 1st pumpkin experience we decided to indulge them. I said if they could lift it they could have it. We had lots of fun riding the wagon out and petting the animals at the attached petting farm. Brad and the boys carved the 20+lb pumpkins with great delight this weekend.

Isaiah's school work is going well. He's in gymnastics this fall with a class of just 2 other 7 year old boys and he is getting really good! He's doing hand stands, they don't quite look right yet but he's getting the idea and he's doing back pull overs, almost by himself. As his strength increases he is enjoying seeing what else he is capable of doing -climbing the walls (yikes) and lifting himself up with just the strength of his arms on chairs, tables and anything else that will hold his weight.

Sam is working on words and we're really happy with the speech teacher he has this semester. She is really working with him and we're noticing a daily difference in pronunciation and willingness to learn words. He points at something and says "name" we tell him and he repeats it, usually not to bad. Sam also is having a fit with tags on anything, clothes, sheets, rugs you name it. If it has a tag, as far as he's concerned, it has a fault, so the tags must be abolished. Cute for now but if he doesn't grow out of this phase he'll possibly drive us nuts.

We met with the case workers recently to go over where we are with this case. I was disappointed with the lack of answers. Everything takes a long time and it all depends on other people, timing, and issues. For the planner in me it is frustrating. Probably the most frustrating part is the fact that nothing can be planned except that things take longer than seems necessary.

Right now life seems surreal. We've known the boys almost a year. When we look back over this year we've had a lot of challenges and a lot of triumphs. We don't know what the future holds (but we know who holds the future). It's hard to think about the boys ever not living with us, but the reality is that as a foster parent you have to hope that the best happens for the children and know that what you think is best is not always what the courts think is best.

As we enter this fall season we ask that our friends and family pray for our strength, for wisdom for the powers that be and for the boys to have memories that they can take into this unknown future. That they will have memories of love, teaching moments, spiritual heritage and a (possibly brief) time of two parents that love them unconditionally and want the absolute best future for them.

ps. I hope to actually have pictures to share soon.

Sum Sum Summertime

2008-08-30T09:18:00.002-05:00

So we had a pretty good 1st summer together. Isaiah enjoyed doing different activities with the "kid's club" and Sam had fun with his friends too. They had regular visits with their mom. She's been given some extra time to meet the requirements for reunification visits because she's met the initial basic requirements set out. We pray that the Lord continues in this process, we know that whatever happens will be heart breaking for someone, we all love these kids so much.

We went to St. Louis for a Partylite conference and Brad and the boys went exploring every day. I'm continually amazed how well the boys really do in the car, even for long rides. Brad and I are very grateful that no one gets car sick, and we don't hear "are we there yet?". This is very great for a long trip. I put some books and toys in the back seat and then have little toys or snacks in the front seat the hand back every two hours or so. Isaiah came to ask at every rest stop if mom had another surprise for them. It really was pretty fun to shop for little things. Brad took the boys to the zoo in St. Louis and they were ready to go pretty quickly, so it was a little discouraging that he still had 3 more days to find things to do that they would enjoy. We found the "Magic House" in St. Louis and that was mostly a hands on children's museum and they all LOVED it! In fact Brad said if they had more time he'd take them back because they didn't get to see everything and they were there several hours. The next day after my meeting we all packed up and went to the arch. Brad had never been and I hadn't been for years (last time I was in 8th grade). Brad was amazed how big it really was, you really can't appreciate the size till your right next to it. Isaiah took some pictures and Sam liked riding the "train" to the top. It was a very busy Saturday and my claustrophobia and timidity of high spaces really kicked in and I just stood close to the middle end of the hallway up top and tried to breath so the boys and Brad could get some good pictures and enjoy the view. I was glad when we were back at the bottom and could get something cold to drink. But we all had a nice time in spite of me almost freaking out :).

Earlier in July, Bliss, my sister gave birth to Cadence and as his name suggests he already has perfect timing. My folks were on their way up to Madison to visit us for the July 4th weekend and before they had even reached Chicago they got a call the not only had the baby not waited till his July 8th due date he was coming today! Mom and dad turned off in Chicago and headed to Green Bay instead and I took the boys up the next day on the 4th to see Cadence, Bliss and Chad. It was great fun and the boys did so well with the baby, it turned out to be a good thing because within two weeks we found out that their mom is expecting. So it's nice that Cadence could give us an easy baby -pre and post birth to talk about and answer questions for the boys.

Cadence brought Bliss and mom and dad down to visit a couple of weeks ago and at 7 weeks he's already been swimming 3 times, he's my type of kid! Speaking of swimming, the boys and I have been swimming as much as possible this summer. So there are MANY boxes still packed. It's hard to want to unpack the boxes anyway but when you add a beautiful summer day and a swimming pool that is NEVER overcrowded that's within walking distance....well, let's just say that maybe this fall it will look more like we've finally unpacked. But if the boys can give me a reasonable excuse....I doubt those boxes will ever get unpacked.

Brad's job is going well, we have been blessed with an ever changing schedule. Seems the Lord is teaching us how to go with the flow. I've learned thru this whole parenting experience that timing changes significantly with kids. There is NO hurry up, NOTHING takes a couple of seconds to do (except perhaps a huge mess that stops everything) and even when everything goes exactly as planned and you get out the door early, it's probably because you forgot to do something.

Since the move we have noticed that things are calming down. We're using positive reinforcement with the boys that seems to be making a difference. So we enter next week, the first week of school with much hope and prayer.

Summer Time and the livin is busy

2008-06-30T21:54:00.002-05:00

We finally closed on the condo, thank the Lord!! The boys seem to be excited about the move so far. We've been painting like crazy for the last week. I bought the boys a battery operated train set so every time we go to the condo to paint they can build and rebuild the train tracks.

They've been active with day care so far everyday. You can't even believe how far Isaiah's class has been walking on a regular basis. He's gaining quite an appetite and we're glad to see that. The other day some of the kids at day care had scooters for one of the outings. Since he didn't have a scooter to take he decided to run and the teacher said that Isaiah kept up with the scooter kids the whole way! He is very fast, now if we could only get his brain to keep up we'd be in business.

We're planning on being in our new condo within a week and it won't be a minute too soon. Luckily the condo is just 4 blocks from the apartment so we can drive home and put the boys right to bed at 9 or so. Brad is working nights right now, and for the foreseeable future so it will be nice when we're all moved and don't have to spend all our time getting things ready. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things that still need to be done. But I have to just trust that things will happen we just need to keep plugging away.

Sam is starting with a summer speech person in a couple of weeks. I'm glad for that because he's had days when he's really slid backward with the language. His language is really garbled and many people feel like they can understand some of what he is saying and when they talk to him I can tell he is just giving up and say uh-hu to them hoping they'll just move on.

Please pray for us as we continue this journey. It's really a lot of challenges surrounded by 3 minutes of hope followed by 2 days of despair. Maybe not quite despair but certainly exasperation.

School's out for Summer

2008-06-12T20:24:00.002-05:00

So it's been awhile since the last entry. A week or so after the last entry we had placed an offer on a condo, it was accepted and I planned on writing as soon as we had everything in order to share the great news. I waited, and waited and waited, it got so long at one point people were asking us if we were still doing the blog. Well, unfortunately God's timing is not our timing.

As we sit now we are in the final stretch of getting the financing arranged. The market has completely fallen out of favor with people in our situation (not much money saved and not the best credit in the last 7 seven years). So I decided to write before the summer gets too far underway.

We are all settling in, finally, as a family. Brad's work scheduled has changed 3 or more times in the last 6 weeks. Even more if you count the rumors and false starts for different shift changes. But it is still a good job, and he can't say he's getting bored with the same old routine.

Isaiah came home with a very promising report card and has been assigned a 1st grade teacher. Providing we get the condo his school will change but we've already talked to his speech teacher and current principal and they were both very positive about the new school. I think with a little hard work this summer that perhaps Isaiah won't have to be in any special classes this fall. He'll have to start in them but hopefully he'll be able to "test out" of them. His behavior still seems to be our biggest stumbling block but we have decided to use some medication to help his impulse control. With a little old fashioned tough love and some honest loving feedback we are seeing him make better choices sooner. (no one likes to go to bed before their little brother)

Sam is progressing nicely, we still have so far to go but we are hopeful for the future. He is trying hard to talk, and we still believe that he thinks he's being more clear than he is. He loves Thomas the Tank engine and knows all the names, he's happy to tell you which is which and will correct you if you say the wrong name. Most of his words are garbled, you have to know context for most things but progress is progress. We can't figure out, however, why the name "Thomas" comes out 'Ippy', we even say T-om- is, and he repeats T-m then says "Ippy". It's all very matter of fact and I don't think he hears the difference.

The other day he and Brad were out getting groceries, Brad let Sam have the pen and shopping list, I was on the phone with Brad at the time and he said, "Sam just wrote his name!" I don't know if Brad wrote it 1st and Sam copied it but we've known for awhile that Sam recognizes his name but this was a shocker! Brad had him do it again at home and sure enough I looked at it and it was clearly S-a-m. I told Brad we should forget trying to get him to speak and just teach him to spell!!

We are working on reading with Isaiah and he is excited about the idea of understanding more of his world, especially, the rules for online games that I won't sit and read him. I talked to his reading teacher and she gave me a list of where he should be for 1st grade and he's really right on target, in fact, if I may sound like a proud mom, I think we'll get beyond that this summer. Summer goal for Sam is potty training. It seems that he's more in the mode for it. I figure one week with grandma (either one) and he should be set, unless someone else would like to volunteer for the job.

The boys caseworker will be changing this summer, theirs is taking another job. So please pray that a new caseworker will speed things along and not have to start over for some bizarre reason. I just finished reading the book "Hope's Boy" by Andrew Bridge. He was in the foster care system in California from the age of 6 (Isaiah's current age) and "aged out" of foster care, after high school he went on to graduate from Harvard Law school. I had hoped it would be a book of redemption, rather it was a story of a young man that was in a holding pattern his entire childhood. How sad that he couldn't find the positives in such a negative story, his foster parents even had a pool for goodness sakes. This wasn't a kid that lived in a cage his entire childhood.

My prayer is that Sam and Isaiah don't grow up and look back at their time with us as just a childhood of waiting. We both want the boys to look back and have happy memories, like Brad and I do of our childhood, of growing up with a brother (or sister) and having fun, silly, goofy times just being a kid.

We start the summer with hope and faith that the Lord will continue to direct our paths and

March -we hardly knew ye.

2008-04-01T20:07:00.003-05:00

So the last we had written things were settling down. Well, that was a bit premature. No sooner had the words left the computer then the turbulence began. Because happy pictures make for better picture frames I didn't bother sharing any pictures (none were taken) of the chaos that insued.

March was a flurring of doctors visits, intakes, evaluations and "yeah I see your problem" comments. No one came out and said, 'yes we can fix it'.

We feel a little overwhelmed with all the upcoming visits with Doctors and other professionals. We are meeting this week on Wednesday with our current and new case workers. Our current caseworker has a full load and doesn't usually work with young children cases so we are switching to someone that works with our age boys. Then Thursday we meet with the boys caseworker and a therapist to talk about family therapy and where the boys case is and, possibly, where it is headed.

Of course we would like things to move along more smoothly but under the circumstances I guess we've got about as smooth a case as we can hope for. We've certainly heard horror stories. We continue to ask for your prayers.

Easter weekend with my folks was eye opening for all I think. I'm glad that mom and dad got to see the boys in their rougher moments. I know they got to see me in my rougher moments. (sorry again for the meltdown)
Spring break went pretty well, the boys went to day care (kids club) all day and Isaiah had a blast carrying his cold lunch all week. You've never seen a kid so happy to have cold ham sandwiches everyday for 5 days.

Sam went through 2 weeks of a terrible cold complete with HIGH fever. In fact one night his fever got to 102.9 and Brad woke me up. We started pulling out all of our resources. Had it not been for the internet and a very nice nurse on the phone I think we would
have started calling anyone of you for input. The nurse talked Brad through some other symptoms and we determined a trip to the emergancy room wasn't neccesary.
** We did have our first really huge new parent moment. The nurse reminded us that light loose clothes and a cool room with a sheet would help things along. So we uncovered him from the huge blanket he was under, took his socks off, changed him out of the fleece full body one piece, turned down the smoldering heat in his room and took off his tin foil hat. (ok he wasn't wearing a hat) Looking back on it at the time we were practically broasting the kid in his bed! What first time parents we are. So I'm being a little funny, I mean we've had some really cold nights, and when Brad is sick he gets the chills but still, it was a rookie mistake.

So the highlights of this month were Madison hit an all time high of 102" of snow. For those of you keeping track at home that is since December 1st (our first full weekend with the boys) to now we have survived inside a 860 square foot apartment with 4 people and a cat that has grown weary of all the commotion. We did manage to find a babysitter the week of Brad's birthday for 2 hours so we could go out to eat. She even said she'd do it again. Brad and I had our 1st overnight without the boys, had a nice time but would have liked a little longer together time. Isaiah is having more and more better days at school and even started this week off with 4 (out of 4) smiley faces both Monday and Tuesday. Sam is adding more words to his vocabulary and even said his 1st sentence yesterday -"I got apple". Wow, so March maybe did come in like a lion for us, perhaps that proverbial lamb is a little louder than we'd expect but you've got to look for progress in the small things.

We are so grateful for the thoughts, emails and prayers that are said on our behalf. It is wonderful to know that even from miles away we are still surrounded by prayer.

Finally Settling Down...a bit

2008-02-27T03:26:00.003-06:00

Six weeks then you should have smooth sailing...that is what the previous foster mom to the boys said. Well it has been 8 weeks and we are just starting to seem glimmers of normal. Or at least closer to it. Of course things get hectic around our house from time to time, and most of the time they are managable. It is just at the end of the day you really feel like you have been thru the wringer.

Our house is still trying to settle into a routine as it has not been too long since my schedule changed, my regular schedule is now Friday, Saturday and Sunday 12 hour shifts 4pm to 4am.
This week I am working some extra days, both Monday and Thursday nights. So not a lot of relaxation this week. Kodi has had a challenge trying to feel like she gets any real time off since she has to care for the boys by herself on the weekends. Yesterday was her day off and she went shopping (got some nice Lane Bryant clothes...thank you Momma Santa) and treated herself to a movie. I was sleeping and was glad for it as it had been a bit challenging at work Monday night. We met with some friends from the Madison Nazarene Church, Bruce & Karen Mitten last night for dinner. Went to a pizza place called Rocky Rococo's. They have several locations around town but we had not been to this one. Turns out this place is a pseudo Chuckie Cheese with a theatre room and Arcade area...luckily no rides or tubes...we would still be there. Kodi and I thought this was just another pizza place like Fazoli's or pizza Hut. We were overwhelmed and the kids were at frenzy level 8.5...of course it was loud and of course there just had to be a corporate family party in progress and luckily finishing up as we were ready to eat. But looking for a table for 6 was a bit challenging.

Boys are doing okay...Isaiah still has to be reminded to Listen (and do what we say) and obey the rules, but he is getting better at calming himself down and making better choices. I think he is learning that Brad and Kodi can not be bought with whinning and tears and that his control tactics from his past are not nearly as effective at our house. He still has to have time outs now and then, but they are less frequent and we are getting more happy, let's just live our life moments than we were several weeks ago. Even school is going better for him as far as behavior. We are still dealing with grief and emotional issues and are setting up counseling for him/the family. We are cautiously optimistic.

Sam is going thru a phase right now where he feels he can get what he wants if he just stands in one place protesting his displeasure with passive refusal. Guess what kid...that just does not work. More times than not he simply does not want to stop playing with his toys for things like potty time, getting dressed, eating or bed time. He absolutely loves his Thomas train set and plays with it or looks at pictures of Thomas trains all the time.

We have several doctors appts set up for Sam. Hearing test and cognitive development evaluation are set in place to rule out any issues other than just neglect for his lack of speech. He is making progress, He likes quoting certain lines of movies...especially the "Shark bait, Ooo Ahh Ahh" from Finding Nemo which in Sammy language comes our "Ar Ait, Uhh Ahh Ahh". He loves when I say it along with him in a very deep voice...he laughs everytime I do it. He even was singing his version of "I'm a little teapot" last night in the car. He tries to mimic words and even sentences that the rest of us in the family are saying. He knows that talking is how we communicate, he just does not have enough words to do it very well yet...and he gets frustrated with it. Lack of front teeth is not helping his cause. His teacher is thinking of adding an extra day for his school week of early childhood development. So that he would go mornings Tue-Fri...all of us think he really could use it.

So for now we are okay. Not really the peaceful Leave-it-to Beaver home that I had hoped for...but we are making strides. I will say this every moment is intersting!

Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts. Love to all...Brad

Pictures to Share

2008-01-19T15:07:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures that Isaiah and I took. He took the picture of Sam, which I thought was a neat picture. If I could harness the energy into the lens I think he'd take some awesome pictures.

Here is Isaiah with his new camera, notice the "boots" he's wearing.

I couldn't resist taking a picture of the boys in there "santa boots".

Isaiah and I during a brief moment of enjoyment.

Brad took the boys last weekend to a fun event at the Overture center. On Saturday's during the winter they offer free family friendly entertainment.

Hope you are enjoying the posts. Stay in touch.

Check Your Emotional Baggage Please

2008-01-19T08:35:00.000-06:00

We had a breakthrough last night with Isaiah. From the time Kodi picked him up from his after school program through dinner and afterwards when we were watching TV, Isaiah had been on the verge of a timeout for several reasons. He wasn't doing anything terrible...he just wasn't doing anything well, either. He has the attention span of a dragonfly on fire at times. When he ramps up into this type of mode he just doesn't stand still and even it he pauses for a moment his hands are usually in mid air ready for the next thing and they are even trembling with energy, as if he is trying to decide which direction he should reign down his terror next.

Finally, I had had enough and recapped all the crazy behaviors he had shown that night and that I thought he needed a one minute time out so he could calm down. He at first was, of course, not too excited about taking a timeout for any length of time. But I said it had to happen and he then followed me back to the rocking chair in their bedroom. He sat down just fine and I went to the kitchen to get the timer. When I went back into the bedroom to check on him, he was sitting where I had left him but could tell by the look on his face that he was not really happy. I asked if he was okay...he said no and burst into tears. I knelt down beside his chair, put my arm around him and asked if he was mad at Brad and Kodi. He said no. I asked if he was sad...he said yes, he was. When I asked what he was sad about he said, "his mom". At that point I held him close and said it was okay to be sad about missing mom. I reassured him that his mom loves him and also misses him. I held him for a moment more and told him that anytime he needs to talk to Brad and Kodi about being sad or missing mom that he can always do so.

It makes sense that the "acting up" is his way of not knowing how to deal with what he is feeling. Kodi and I are trying to help him identify the emotions he has and assist him with how to deal with them. We are asking the social workers for a referral for family counseling to help the boys with their transition and for Kodi and I to better know how to deal with the chaos we have at the moment. I have always felt in my heart that Kodi and I would be okay parents, and indeed with the day to day general care we are doing fine. I think we both were hoping for a cozy and more or less peaceful home where two happy boys would be sharing their toys back and forth while our cat snoozes peacefully on the chair by the fireplace while Kodi and I sit and enjoy reading our books while listening to smooth jazz melodies in the background. Okay, okay...I know I'm a dreamer and that we don't even have a fireplace. Life may not always be exactly what we wish it could be. At this point Kodi and I are just hoping to catch our breath for a moment. We know this transition is going to take some time, but we are also trying to be proactive to make changes and improvements as soon as we can so we can move forward rather than just spinning our wheels.

Thanks to all for your love and support.
-Brad

Peas should be square!

2008-01-16T13:19:00.000-06:00

I have decided that if the vegetable growers of America want more families to eat veggies than peas should be square and corn niblets should be the size of an average fork. I came to this realization as I was under the table the other night after dinner. As I was ridding the carpet of as many veggies that I could, I thought of the old adage "motherhood is a thankless job". If that is true than foster motherhood is where thankless daughters must suffer under the table. If I haven't said it recently- thanks mom!

We have had a pretty rocky 1st couple of weeks. This week all school schedules are ironed out and hopefully next week all bus schedules will be up and running. I waited to sign Isaiah up for the bus so he could get his footing a little with the new school. Next week I'm hoping to have him on the bus in the morning with Sam and then they'll ride the bus to Isaiah's school and then Sam will stay on the bus to go to his own school.

I met with Isaiah's teacher yesterday and would you believe it she's originally from Ft. Wayne! The Lord's hand is more evident in Isaiah being in her class but that is a discussion for another blog. She is a strong woman with lots of resolve to help Isaiah overcome his anger and acting out and get him the knowledge he so desperately needs. She is having the same issues at school that we are having at home with the testing and she really gives us a lot of credit for signing up for this task.

Sam is having problems going to preschool, I think that will change eventually but for now when I have to drop him off I have to be sure to allow extra time. Last Thursday I dropped him off and had to drag him out of the car, wrap my arms around him and heave him to the curb. I sat him down to change my hold and he ran away from me into the street toward the car! I was panicked and stopped (thanks mom) and didn't chase after him. Being that the car was parked on a very quiet street and he wasn't in traffic I tried to coax him back to the sidewalk as I walked quickly towards him and grabbed him with all my might and got him back to the sidewalk kicking and screaming. Luckily one of his teachers saw us, or perhaps heard us, and was able to come out and pick him up from me and take him in. I was an emotional mess and the preschool director came down to me and gave me a hug and said, "it's ok mom, sometimes they do that, you're doing good." Well, I don't have to tell you I pretty much lost it and after gaining composure I thanked her and then headed to work. Whew, not my day, after about an hour I got a call at work from the preschool, "Sam is doing great and we just wanted to let you know." That dirty rotten turkey, here I had worried myself that we were making a bad decision and he was perfectly fine. Well, just goes to show that you have to have the resolve and the backbone to follow thru (thanks mom).

We are seeing glimpses of success but they are few and far between at the moment. Sam has added one word to his vocabulary this week -apple! I heard him and had him repeat it for Brad and we both were bursting with pride. Of course Sam kind of gave us a look like, 'you guys know what it's called what's the big deal?' Regardless, we are happy that he is making a least a small step forward. I'm sure the Isaiah will make even more progress as he gets settled in to the routine and we work with some extra help to give him language to explain his feelings instead of pounding on the table when he has to take a time out.

Please keep us in your prayers and if I've neglected to tell you this, Happy Birthday x 4 people, Happy Anniversary x2 people and we love you and miss you everyone!

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

2007-12-27T21:26:00.000-06:00

So many things to think and say. I'll just say a little. We picked the boys up today and they were both upset leaving Joan's. It was apparent that they understood that they wouldn't be going back to stay. (Thank you to Bliss for asking the question -"is today when you get the boys for one day at a time?" Yes, we don't have to take forever all at once, we can thankfully take it one day at a time.)

We then took them to meet with their mom and they were still upset. Mostly they were upset because they were soooooo tired. Try explaining to mom though that "they were like this when we got them". We got to entertain the boys and get them to calm down a little while their mom talked to the case workers. So once she was ready they were in a better frame of mind. Sounds like mom has had a set back and the case worker is talking to us about shared parenting. (which basically is involving mom as much as possible so she feels involved in their lives)

Since the boys had such a rough day we thought we'd just bring them home have some dinner and let them unpack their toys. Santa had left them quite a bit at Joan's and we were glad that he hadn't left them more here. We figured we'd wait to open presents till tomorrow maybe.....

Well, you can see how that turned out. I had to stop snapping pictures because Isaiah was opening everything in sight. Sam was happy to open one thing and play with it. Brad unpacked the car (Joan said, "I thought you had a van" I wish, once I saw all the things that she sent with the boys including sleds they got for Christmas.) I put some of their clothes away and Isaiah and Sam played pretty contently for a large part of the time Brad was gone to get groceries.

At one point tonight I thought that "if it is like this more times then not we will all be just fine." Because of the transition we let the boys just kind of act out a bit just to get their bearings and did finally, right before bed, have to do a time out with Isaiah. Isaiah was acting out a lot the last handful of days with Joan so we want to let him understand that we still have rules, but it is ok to be upset. Sam of course doesn't really get it but does know when Isaiah is upset and then he's upset.

So now the boys are in bed the living room is sort of picked up and Brad is on the floor putting together a toy with a hundred parts the boys got from Joan. Not quite the 1st Christmas with kids that we envisioned the last number of years. But I think there will be visions of sugarplums dancing tonight.

A very Happy New Year to you, and thank you for your prayers and support - Brad, Kodi, Isaiah, and Sam

On the Precipice

2007-12-12T21:24:00.000-06:00

I learned this past weekend a very important lesson. When sitting in the front seat of the car and you hear the word yuck, followed by "here" do not automatically stick your hand behind you to receive blindly whatever is being offered to you. Sam was eating some fruit gummy bears and one most have tasted like grape because I got a handful of sticky wet gummy bears and no where to put them. I just started laughing because, really what was I thinking! Why he stuck all of them in his mouth at once I'm not sure but he definitely didn't like them.

Brad and I have really been thinking about the whole change that is getting ready to happen. We stand at the precipice of two very different lives. We clearly see the quite married life that we have come to enjoy and relish, and we see the life of a family of four. The family life is what we've wanted for so long, but we feel really comfortable with just the two of us. When the boys are around there is no us, there is just noise, energy and unrest. When we think about the boys here we are excited to help them, but we have to just trust that the acting out and disquiet won't be a permanent way of life. It would almost be easier if we hadn't had such a quiet, wonderful, and fulfilling life as a married couple. It's hard to describe how difficult this whole process has immediately become. We find that we are in mourning for the loss of so much, from freedom, to quiet, to not getting to start from scratch (child birth and blank slates). We have to come to the point where we are fine with all of the chaos that accompanies the boys, their past, the unknown, the acting out and the unbalanced parents.

Please pray for us these next two weeks. We are reaching out to people that can be good resources for us and trying to learn as much as we can about developmental delays caused by neglect. Brad is concerned about the change and my concern is are we really ready to do this and invest all of this change in our lives for two boys that we might not get to see grow up. But I guess that is the life of a parent, there are no guarantees and a whole lot of unknowns. I do appreciate the fact that I now know not to reach for the unknown if it's preceded by "yuck" and "here".

Everything is Sticky

2007-12-07T22:19:00.000-06:00

So one weekend with the boys and everything is sticky! What is it about little boys that makes even surfaces they were no where near sticky. How is that possible?

Anyway, 1st weekend was a little rocky. They are really testing us and that was no fun. Saturday night after they were both in bed Brad and I talked and looked at each other and wondered what we go ourselves into. We were recaping the day and decided there most be something rewarding about parenthood otherwise the world would be full of people with only one child. There must be something to it that people would want to have more than one! I was scared that things would always be as crazy as they were on Saturday. Luckily Sunday went better, a little better. Overall, we set some good boundries and reinforced some rules.

Thursday we met their mom and that was interesting. She really wants the boys back and is working really hard to make that happen. The way I see things, she will have to move several mountains to make it happen, however, either way it is going to be a long process. After we met their mom they had a visit with her and we picked them up after. That was the 1st time we did that- it was very hard for all of us. The boys were wound up because of the sugary snacks she brought for them and the lack of structure. We finally got them to settle down and after we took them to a very fun place for dinner and Brad went to work and I had the kids overnight by myself, things went fairly well.

Tonight I picked the boys up after school and survived actually unloading groceries from the car, feeding them, making a Partylite call and getting them to bed all while Brad was at work. Really felt like a big accomplishment but I have a new respect for single parents, I don't know how they keep it together as much as the do. But why oh why is everything sticky?

No Honeymoon

2007-11-25T20:03:00.000-06:00

When we were in classes for foster parenting we were told about a honeymoon period. We were warned that many times when children come into your home they will be very good. Some will even do things to please you (help wash dishes, help fold clothes, make their beds etc.) Then after that time there is a mourning period and a lot of acting out.

Joan asked us tonight if the boys have been testing us. When Brad said, "Oh, yes." She said good! Brad was about to tell her how mean she was and she explained that it probably means that we won't have a honeymoon period. She said that she didn't have a honeymoon period with them. So sounds like right out of the box we'll have our work cut out for us.

We had the boys today and had a lot of fun. Brad and I were a little worn out from the weekend but were very glad to see the boys. They both acted out quite a bit at first and we took them out to a different resturaunt than they've been to before and felt like maybe we bit off more than we could chew. After that we brought them home and played.

Sam loves the race track and Isaiah took to coloring while watching a movie. Sam was very tired and I think is young enough that he could and maybe should be taking a nap in the afternoons. We're really hoping to have the boys sooner than later because this is getting frustrating. I hope that we don't have to go thru this ebb and flow with their attitudes. We will meet there mom soon and Joan will be talking to Isaiah in the next couple of weeks about living with us. Please pray for these two events that they will go well. I know that the Lord will make these transitions what they should be and is already in the situation.

2nd Saturday

2007-11-18T21:46:00.000-06:00

(I took some adequate pictures and the camera disk pooped out on me- sorry)

We had a great time Saturday. I went shopping at Toys r Us Friday night and picked up some toys. My criteria, based on what the boys were attracted to Tuesday at the store whatever it was had to make noise. So 2 hours after wandering around the store I left with 4 pretty good choices.

Saturday we picked up the boys and brought them to our house. Sam was interested in Bowtie at first and petted him and laughed. It was wonderful. Isaiah was more interested in exploring and because Bowtie wasn't interested in entertaining the boys he wandered off and they forgot about him pretty quickly. We showed them the toys and the one I bought was a Tonka race track for little kids. It had 2 soft cars and when you press the button the track goes around, pretty fast, and it makes noises. The boys played with that most of the night. What a hit!

I also bought one leap pad book system and a word whammer by leap frog. They are both educational and will, hopefully, promote language growth, reading and spelling. We found out that the boys are typical in their limits to sharing. Sam got very upset and did not want to share with Isaiah on one of the books and as we were sitting on the floor he had an honest to goodness tantrum. It was exacerbated by the fact that he can't communicate his feelings. One of the things Sam does to compensate is he'll point to things that bother him. For instance he'll "hurt" his finger point to it for a kiss. Then he'll point to his head or arm or whatever for more kisses and attention. When he started his first tantrum for the evening he started crying crocodile tears and pointed to his eye as if to say 'see how upset I am, do you see that you're making me cry'. We rode it out and had he 3 tantrums of varying degrees all evening. Overall things went pretty smoothly.

Isaiah was very sweet to Sam. They wanted to watch Finding Nemo and Isaiah carried the race track into the living room for Sam so we could all watch the movie. It was too sweet and then once later in the evening Sam was upset (not at Isaiah this time) and Isaiah went over and hugged Sam to make him feel better.

Isaiah found a couple of balls in Bowties stuff and started rolling them and throwing them. I had him aim at the front door and he did that for 20 minutes or so and started to even work up a sweat. So they both like very typical boy things. I think I might try to find one of those nerf basketball hoops to hang on the back of the front door.

When it was time to leave all went well. But once we got to Joan's house things were a little chaotic and the boys seemed to not want us to leave. That was hard. It is also hard to believe that we just saw them yesterday. I can't wait to see them again. We meet this week with their case worker and then again with them on Tuesday. We're working every day towards getting ready for them. I'm getting paperwork together to get them enrolled in school, which is a challenge seeing that I don't even know their complete names but we'll get it all squared away.

Please pray for the transition. We think it will be especially hard on Isaiah as he feels pretty comfortable where he is now. We are looking forward to having them here full time so that we can work on the language thing and helping them with just being kids.

Met the Boys Finally!

2007-11-09T20:31:00.000-06:00

This week has been such a treat. Please forgive the limited pictures and weird placement of the pictures. It turns out the best picture of the bunch is the one Isaiah took of Sam raking leaves.
So here we are with the boys on Saturday.

Right now they live across from a large savannah type area with a pond and lots of rocks to walk over. So on Saturday we went for a walk and threw rocks in the pond (it's a boy thing). Of course everyone wanted to have boulders to throw no small pebbles for this crew.

When we met the boys on Wens. they had just gotten home from school and met us and our 2 social workers. Isaiah had light up shoes on and loved to show everyone how they lit when he jumped on one foot then the other. He was such a bouncing ball of energy. Brad was sitting by the toy box and Sam pulled out every toy from the box and loved hearing Brad talk to him about them. Sam is very delayed emotionally and doesn't speak. He seems to have his own language and trys to communicate but there is a lot of work ahead.

Saturday when we visited the boys were outside with Joan playing on the swing. In the picture on the right Isaiah is trying to talk me into letting him take pictures. When I did let him take a few (the one on the left) I realized he has quite a talent!

The best part about Saturday was when we got there both boys seemed happy to see us and after Sam "said hello" to Brad he ran over to me and gave me a big hug. Before we left I asked Isaiah if he'd like to give me a hug goodbye (he did) and Sam started to cry as we walked away. Broke our hearts but we have to remind ourselves that it's just as much and age thing for Sammy as it is a connection thing.

We'll meet with the boys several more times before any move happens and by January they will be here full time. There is still sooooo much we don't know about their situation. We are planning to be a concurrent (long term) home for the boys. The biggest thing to keep in mind is that whatever happens in the long term someone will be heartbroken. At our last training meeting with Dawn we heard from a dad that adopted 2 boys thru the foster care system and he said that watching a birth mother have her parental rights terminated is the hardest thing to witness. She was broken and hurt. We haven't met, and don't know much about the boys mom, but I'm sure that having parental rights terminated at any point will be crushing.

On the other hand, if the county is able to find a relative, or parent to take the boys then we'll be heartbroken. As much as we believe that the boys should be with loving, caring, safe relatives if at all possible it would be tough to say goodbye. So we have to love, and care for them unconditionally while they are with us and give them childhood experiences that they remember. Knowing every step of the way that we may not be their forever home.

For now we look forward to the next meeting (Tuesday) and the next step in this new and exciting process.

Thanks for the prayers and hopefully I'll get some better pictures to share. For now though feel free to email me and tell me how cute they are. I know!! So Cute!!

Excitanxsiopated

2007-10-31T12:20:00.000-05:00

Excitanxsiopated- is a word Brad and I have created to describe the waiting process. We've combined excited, anxious, anticipating, frustrated all together because there was no one word that said it all.

It truly is a process to wait. Your emotions go thru so much. We actually had talked at the end of our last meeting with the consultant about 2 children that may need placement. But we have to wait to get more information, see a picture, and possibly meet them. So we've been waiting (me not so patiently) to get any more information.

It's been a week and I finally got a call from Jessie, our consultant in training, with 5 different dates that work for them so we can all go and meet with the current foster mother and even meet the kids. The dates ranged from Friday (in two days) to Friday in two weeks. Jessie called the foster mother and the best date that works for her? of course next Wens. Everything is happening in one week increments, which at least it's not 2 weeks but arghhhhh!! (Excitanxsiopated -can't describe it any better.)

There is supposed to be a file that we can look at but no one can locate it. They are redoing it as I type this and will let me know when it's available to view. I'm trying to convince myself that next week is fine and there is plenty to keep me busy between now and then. We know very little about the kids and what we do know just leads to more excitanxsiopation so I won't even bother adding that tiny info here. What we do know about the kids is that we'll want to find at least some connection on Wens. or we will ask to move on to the next kids needing placement. So in the interest of not dashing hopes and sparing everyone else into going into excitanxsionpating arrest, I'll just ask that you pray for us between now and next Wens. that the Lord would give us clarity and wisdom. Also, please pray that I don't get fatally attacked by the excitanxsiopated monster.

Worst words-It Depends

2007-10-24T20:21:00.000-05:00

It depends-is the answer to about every question we can possibly have. Will we get a call soon, will he be in 3rd grade, will he need driven to school, will we have to work with both birth parents, will he have a brother- the answer we get- "it depends".

So at that we go forward with what we do know. The individual meetings were a lot easier than we expected. They each lasted about 2 hours and then tonight we had our last official worksheet meeting. We each filled out a worksheet and then took turns to go over the information with Chris separately without the other person in the room.

We may need to meet with her one more time but the house is ready. She'll work on our report this week and we'll get a call next week and most likely be officially licensed by November 2nd. Which means that we'll be available for calls very soon.

At the last meeting I had alone with Chris she and I decided to extend our age groups to include 0-12. Brad was a little surprised but we talked about it and he agreed that as long as we could find child care that it shouldn't be a problem. Chris reminded me that day care can be very good for these kids because the children can socialize and have lots of structure which can in turn help them grow into themselves better.

At the end of this evenings meeting Chris asked Brad and I again if we'd be ok with 2 kids at a time. We said yes and she said she would look for a good fit for us. We decided that any addition would be such a change to what we have now that 2 kids wouldn't be exponentially that much more different. We are expecting that our 1st few placements will be short term (how long? It depends). Chris did intimate that she has been looking for good fits and we may get a call soon.

If we get an emergency call (and it depends on the situation) than we have the opportunity to turn down the placement. If we take the placement the child could be with in as soon as an hour. If we take a placement with children that are already in the system then we can ease into it a little. Possibly visit with them at their current foster home and spend time with them and then take them for little excursions before they spend the night with us. It sounds like a great way to ease into things but at some point we just need to jump in with both feet.

We've been looking at activities that school age kids would enjoy and are ready to get things under way. It just seems like all there is left to do is wait.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement and we look forward to telling you more. Hopefully soon but you know......it depends.

One more meeting left

2007-10-11T10:27:00.000-05:00

We attended the 3rd of 4 meetings last night. The meetings are eye opening and yet leave a sense of what will our situation look like. The main feeling we get is every situation is different, how you can create a class for 14 people and talk about any type of focus when everything is different depending on the child, the placement and the birth family- well it's a challenge. Our instructor is very open and honest and does her best.

Last night we talked about discipline, teams of people that are involved in each childs lives, and some great options available to older (15+) children in the system, including college assistance. When we met with our foster consultant yesterdaybefore the class I was left a little disappointed. I knew it was a home inspection, I guess when you throw in a word like inspection I'm prepared for something very thorough. Instead it felt more like a "we just wanted to make sure you live indoors" type of thing. So, of course, I stayed up LATE Tuesday night preparing the apartment and then was left deflated when the only comments we got were just simple make sure you lock up medicines, and have working smoke detectors. Maybe we looked so ready that there wasn't much left to say.

Our FPC (foster parent consultant) did ask a few questions and it was more just a get to know you type of thing. They are saying it could be 6-8 more weeks before we have a placement. She was happy to hear that we were indeed interested in a school age boy (which there are many in the system) and she asked how many. We looked at each other and said two, well you could have knocked me over with a feather when we said that. As the words are coming out of my mouth I'm trying to fathom 2 boys- YIKES! BOYS- I mean, what do they like, where do the like to go for fun, what is the Barbie equivalent for boys? Lots to learn.

Chris our FPC is really interested in a good fit. For the boys she works with she is really looking for forever homes, these kids have usually been in the system for awhile and parents rights will most likely be terminated (by force or voluntarily). So we meet for our individual meetings next week and then have maybe one more look at the home, if neccesary. A placement could happen faster if she finds a good fit. For now we wait and finish our last class next week.

As far as the bedroom is concerned we need to hang the curtains and take down the breakables and anchor the book case. Chris encouraged us to wait to purchase additional decorations, etc till we have a placement so that we can include him in the decisions. Makes sense, and was actually what we were thinking too. We may need to buy a bunk bed if we get two kids. Mostly though we need to go thru the last of the boxes in our bedroom, switch out clothes to winter clothes and store the rest then the apartment is basically ready.

So what do you think about that? Possibly 2 boys and she was curious if we were planning on staying in the apartment much longer. Who knows, maybe she already has some children in mind and maybe it's a larger group of siblings that are in need of us. We just keep the faith and know that the Lord is in this situation.

Met with Licensing Consultant at our home

2007-10-10T16:36:00.000-05:00

Today we met with a social worker today in our home to do the inspection of our appt. in preparation for becoming licensed foster parents.

The visit lasted about an hour and was a look around with some suggestions about keeping a fire extinguisher handy around the kitchen. Keeping all medications, including vitamins actually locked up (something we had not thought about).

She did not ask us a lot of questions this time. We each have individual appts set up with her next week. That is where the intimate questions about every part of our lives will be asked. They want to get find out as much about us as they can...then a report about our lives/personality will be generated for our file. They really are comitted to finding the right "fit" for our home. To get a child that will easily fit into our home and lifestyle and also that we as parents will have an easy transition.

They are commited to being a resource to answer our questions and provide assistence if needed. -Brad

"Read-ing" up the house

2007-10-09T07:46:00.000-05:00

Brad has a word that we love to use from time to time. The word is read (as in a I read a book yesterday) however, in this case it means to prepare. So we are read-ing up the apartment for our 1st visit with our foster care consultant. She will be doing a general inspection of the place to see what we need to do in preparation for a child.

We have been working this last weekend and Brad last week, to empty the office to make it a livable second bedroom. I sit right now and write to you from the computer that is now in the living room. Brad had a great idea to put a sofa table behind the couch where the computer is to function as a work space and to put files and things under. I agreed that this was a good idea and set out yesterday to find an affordable option. No option presented itself but I did have an idea to create something out of the two small bookcases that we already had. So we have a space behind the couch that is more and more turning into a workable arrangement.

The second bedroom is looking more promising but I have my work cut out for me tonight. Our hope is that Kris will come tomorrow and be impressed with how ready we are physically for a child. Of course that is the people pleasers in us wanting to impress and I'm sure that she will have a handful (or more) things that we will still need to be do in preparation.

Brad and I had a long conversation Sunday about the whole idea. We are very excited but realize that a child will change our lives more than we imagine. And that a foster child will change our lives even more than that.

So Wednesday at 3pm we will be meeting in our home for over an hour and fill out more paperwork, answer more questions and have everything inspected. Here's hoping that all goes well, and we know that the Lord is in this already so we can go forward with confidance.

ps. Brad does have his interview today and is feeling like he may recover from his sinus infection. Lots of excitement here. We'll keep you posted.

2nd Class

2007-10-04T13:09:00.000-05:00

Last night we had our second foster parenting class. It was very informative. We are in a small class, one couple already has a foster child, one lady has done foster parenting before but it has been awhile so the feedback in the room is very good.

We got all of our "homework" mailed in last week and now have a Foster Care Consultant assigned to us. The next step is a phone call to set up a home visit. Then more paperwork. We are very excited and Brad is ready to have everything in the apartment ready for a child so this weekend will be busy with storage and moving furniture around.

I started this blog as a way to keep everyone posted. If you have questions or comments please feel free to let us know. As we go along there will be things about specific situations we won't be able to share but I know that the joys and frustrations will be full of there own bits of "safe" information. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

ps. I'm still figuring out how to use this blog so bear with me.